Heroes Die
by Sarcastic Radiation
Summary: Barry Allen tried to do it. he tried to save Iris from Savitar. But in doing so, he ended up being the one six feet under. Everyone is coping with the loss of the wonderful man he was and we will see them doing just that. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. (Please do not sue me.) (Originally posted on Wattpad.)
1. chapter 1

Barry's POV

I saw her standing there. I saw her there before, when I saw the future and thought I could change things. I was wrong. "You lose, Barry," Savitar's voice rumbled in the empty Infantino Street. The unavoidable pooling of tears in my eyes occurred. But as sad as I was to lose her, I felt something stronger. Anger. Time slowed as I gained speed. I was going to save her.

His sword was nearly making contact with her gray coat when I ran to her and pushed her out of the way. That was when I realized. I was standing in the spot that she was. The blade seared through my chest, not bothered by my ribcage, and exited on the other side of me. It didn't hurt nearly as bad as when it returned to the originating spot.

I fell to the ground. He lost. He will never be created. Iris ran to my aid, afraid to touch me, in fear she'd just cause more harm. Her breath was almost as shaky as mine. "Barry, I lo-" "Please don't finish that sentence," I cut her off. I knew that I never truly loved her.

My body began shaking uncontrollably. "Say hi to Eddie for me," iris said with a teardrop from her face dropping on my suit. My sudden motion slowed down a bit. "Cisco is gonna be so mad when he sees his suit," were the last words I would ever speak. The shaking had stopped and blood filled my mouth, leaking out the sides. I looked at the beautiful night sky as my head drifted up.

The one feeling I had left was loneliness. It felt as if no one were there. No one could help me. My vision went blurry and dark spots enveloped my vision. I saw my life reeling like a movie. Then familiar faces looked at me. I looked at them to recognize my parents, Eddie, Ronnie, and a multitude of others. I felt warm, whole. A feeling I hadn't felt in a long time. I smiled at them and they ran towards me, with my arms spread open wide. I hugged them all so tightly, I could feel the heat of their bodies against mine. I had finally found what I have wanted since the day of my mother's death.

I was happy.


	2. 2

Oliver's POV

"...And even though I only knew him for those five years, he has changed my life. He has shown to me what a true hero looks like. Even when you're just a forensic nerd at super-human speed. I have lost many people in my life who matter to me, but none like Barry Allen." I stepped away from his casket, as we lowered him into the ground. Felicity pressed her face against my chest, I could feel my suit getting drenched in the downfall of tears. I blinked one out from my eyes too.

It was sunny that day, he would have liked it. He was sent down next to his parents. The gravestone read;

Barry Henry Allen

1989 - 2017

"Fear makes us do a lot of things that we shouldn't"

The Flash

He would have hated us if we put 'Bartholomew' on his headstone. It was a small set of people; Catlin, Cisco, Kara, Harry, Joe, Jay Garrick, John, Felicity, and me. The girl that he liked, was at home. Poor thing probably couldn't even bring herself out of bed, let alone to his burial.

We all parted our separate ways after his coffin was covered in dirt. Felicity, John, and I stepped into my mayoral limousine. We sat there in silence for what felt like hours, until Felicity uttered something. "Is he actually gone," the words spilled out of her mouth in a shaky fashion, as if she didn't really want to ask.

I slowly nodded my head, also not wanting to acept the kid was dead. I leaned over to Felicity and embraced her, afraid to let her go. "I never got the memo of how he died," John wispered to us. I looked up at him knowing he wouldn't believe me when I told him. "He was killed by a speed god. A time remnant of himself. He had to kill iris to be created, but Barry saved her. He took the fall," I looked at him.

"My life was somewhat normal, before I met that kid," he repeated himself. "So, now that he's dead, does that mean the speed god is too?" I hesitated answering his question, not quite sure myself. "Yes," I said almost as a question. "There was a lot of time travel involved."

I looked out my window, still grasping on Felicity, at the nearly empty cemetery. There were still two people standing in front of him, whom I made out to be Catlin and Cisco. Our vehicle moved forward into traffic, and the three of them got lost from my sight.

I closed my eyes as we passed S.T.A.R. Labs. I remembered when he first came to me about being a hero. The time that he helped me with captain boomerang. The time he saved my life with rat poison. He was a good man. Not a vigilante, but a guardian angel. When my eyes opened back up we were already in Star City. We stopped at the loft.

We walked to the elevator, and stood there a moment. The doors opened and I saw a face staring at me. "Olie, where were you," Thea asked me with an irritated tone. "I called you like seven times. You were supposed to be at the opening of the new children's hospital hours ago!" The doors of the elevator closed with the four of us inside. "Oh. I'm sorry, Green Arrow. You must have been busy shooting people," she said sarcastically.

"Thea," I said quietly. I had completely forgotten about the children's hospital. "We were at a funeral." Her eyes went wide. She had noticed our dark outfits just then. "Oh," her voice trailed off with regret. "Who- who's funeral?" The doors opened to the loft and we all sat down. I sighed, and looked at her in the eyes. "Barry's," my voice cracked.

I heard a soft moaning from Felicity, who was still hugging my arm, pressing her face against it and soaking my suit in tears. Thea put a hand to her mouth. "Barry, as in- The Flash," she asked. "Yes," I mumbled. "I'm so sorry," her eyes going wide. "How did it happen?"

We spent the next twenty minutes trying to explain to her (and John) how he died. We were inturupted by an alert on Felicity's phone. "There's a prison break, if you're interested. In the prison break! Incase you thought I was talking about something else, which I was not!"

"I'll go," was something nobody was expecting to come out of Thea's mouth. "Speedy," I slightly chuckled. "You're out of practice." "Yeah, but there should be someone out there wearing the red." I nodded to her in agreement and gave her a crooked smile. "You'd better be fast," I waived her off.

"Bye," she ran over and gave me a hug. Needless to say, I groaned. She strode to the stairs, and I think choosing the stairs over the elevator is one of the toughest things a person can do in my book. "It'll be over by the time she gets there," John stated. Felicity sat up and grabbed her phone. She looked overjoyed, "I'll ca-" her face fell and no words could describe how disappointed she looked in herself.

She bit her lip and put her phone back in her coat. Her arms latched back onto my own. I could hear muffled sobbing next to me, with her face buried in my arm. My other arm reached across and held her. Being that shoulder to cry on made me realize something. She really cared for that kid. And so did I. I felt a warm tear fall down my face. He was better than just a good man. He was a hero. Flashpoint or not, super speed or not, he saved my life on multiple occasions. I wouldn't be alive without him. So what exactly was he to me? He wasn't just a friend. Nor was he a colleague.

Barry Allen was a hero.


	3. 3

Cisco's POV

The death of Barry hit everybody hard. I hear even Oliver cried. Iris has been in her apartment for three days now. Me? I've been at S.T.A.R Labs. I tried Vibing him, to see if maybe he's just in the speed force again. But I could never get the courage to touch my- his suit.

I sat in the middle of the cortex, staring at the suit. "Anyone here," a female voice called. I knew that voice and I'd recognize it anywhere. "Hey Caitlin," I answered. "How you holding up?"

"Barely."

She set her purse down on the comand center, and sat down next to me. She stared longingly at the suit, wishing for him to come back, no doubt. We sat there for a long while, hoping for our friend to come zipping through the doors. But he never did. Instead Caitlin turned her head to me, thinking of something to say. Before she could say a word my I felt the desolate gouge in my heart growing larger.

It was a long time before we spoke and I was beginning to feel the silence echoing through the room. "You know," she said without loosing eye contact with the suit. "Barry and I once went to a karaoke bar." I could see her weak smile through the corner of my eye. She lifted herself off the floor, and proceeded to stretch her hand to me. For the first time in hours, I took my eyes off the suit. I tried to smile at her, with no luck. I took hold of her hand, helping me to get off the ground myself.

We stepped into the bar where it expectantly smelled like alcohol. We sat down at the bar and Catlin ordered tequila. I didn't think of her to take such strong drinks. I figured one of us should stay sober, so I ordered a club soda. When we got our drinks she downed hers really fast and started a tab.

"Oh, come on," she pleaded. "Don't be such a party-pooper." I was taking away her ninth drink. "You are very drunk and should probably start drinking water," I said almost thinking she'd do what I told her. She turned around to the stage and watched the singers nearly puke on stage. When they ran off stage she looked at me with pleading eyes. I sighed and she grabbed me by the arm, nearly ripping it off. I drank about half the glass of whatever it was she ordered, before she could pull me away.

I was buzzed, but I couldn't exactly tell you the song we sang. All I can say for sure is, we were both smiling at the end. "It was Cisco, right?" I turned to my right to find a smiling Lynda Park. "Hey, Lynda," I greeted her. "You know," her voice lowered. " I haven't seen The Flash around lately." My heart dropped. Even with the alcohol in front of me, I was constantly reminded of the loss of my friend. It was like I was in a pit of emptiness, and I was sinking deeper. But every time I neared the top, someone shoved me back in.

I could feel the tears falling from my face. My hair was blocking the sides of my head from being seen as I hung it in sorrow. Caitlin touched my shoulder. She was drunk, and she was still crying over it. She hugged me, and Lynda knew something was wrong. "What don't I know," she was growing concerned. "Barry," I paused. Should I tell her? She has a right to know. But she didn't know him great in the first place. But she does know he was The Flash. "Barry isn't with us anymore."

"He quit being The Flash." She pieced together. "Not quite. He- he died," I said fighting the tears and losing. "What do you mean he died? He can't die, he's The Flash!" Thankfully, no one heard her little outburst, and the secret was safe. I pulled her by the shoulder to a corner of the bar, that was dimly lit and vacant.

"Look," I said trying not to raise my voice. "He is gone, and there is nothing we can do about it! It's hard enough to acept it without you shouting it in public places! He's gone and worst of all, I got to see him. Die right in front of me. Now that his life is over its like mine is too. So there's nothing that you can say, anyone can say to change that."

"Cisco, it's not your fault," she said soothingly, hand on my back. I couldn't face her. Not while I was crying anyway.

"Yes it is," I shouted. I was losing it. The more I spoke, the more my true emotions spewed out. "I could have saved him! I spent countless hours at the lab, figuring how to save iris, but I could have worked harder! Hard enough to save them both! I was and at him for not going back in time to save my brother, but now he's gone, and that one's all on me." I shook my head, knowing what I just said made zero sense to her.

I walked back to the bar an grabbed Caitlin. Who knows how many drinks she had in her by now. We- I closed up the tab and half carried her out. I had her lay down in the back seat of her car, while I drive. It wasn't a long drive to her apartment, but it certainly was nerve wracking. I had a beer and half a glass of who knows what was in that glass, so if an officer pulled me over, I'd get a DUI.

When we arrived, I had to carry her in, due to the fact of her being asleep. I hope I didn't look too suspicious to the people in the lobby. I took the elevator cause there's no way in the world I'd carry her up several flights of stairs. In any circumstances. I was glad to see her gaining conciseness so that she could change out of her own pencil skirt. I helped her into her room, took a pair of her pyjamas from her closet, and sat down on her couch. Let's be honest, I wasn't driving home.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, almost as much as I was. I looked at it and it was an email. Normally I wouldn't give a second thought about getting an email, but this one was from the District Attorney. I opened it up and it told me that someone was coming over in about a week. I closed my eyes, thinking of Barry. How I miss him. I thought back to the time he fist woke up. The time he showed us his powers. And how forgiving he was when I told Snart his identity. Or when I told them about my powers. I caught myself from falling asleep a few times. The memories of his orange lighting overtook me as I finally slipped from conciseness.

Barry Allen was my best friend.


	4. Saved By The Flash

iris's POV

"Hey," I hear a voice say. My brother wally walked in. He had been checking in on me a lot ever since- it happened. He has been so good to me, doing all the things I couldn't bare to leave my house for. He'd go to the store, cash my checks, he'd even get me coffee. All I had to do was give him "the look".

I kept myself groomed poorly, unbrushed hair, makeup-less face, informal clothes. I only showered every so often, but even then the look of grief still showed. That day I tossed my hair into a bun but didn't bother changing from my sweat pants. There were bags under my eyes that I didn't care about, because tho only people who came over were people I didn't need to look professional for.

wally had a few bags of groceries in his hands, placing the contents in their spots. I walked in the kitchen to pick up a box of pasta, and fill a pot with water. "Thank you," I hugged him. "What're ya gonna make," he looked me over. Noticing my stained t-shirt no doubt. "The noodle dish. You want some?" He nodded his head aggressively. "Good, because it only gets made in large batches."

"Felling a bit better about the whole Barry thing," he asked. Just hearing his name after it happened, would make me cry. Now I had no tears left. I would just quiver my lip a little, which made it easier to hide from everyone. Losing your fiancé is not something you can just move on from. This must have been what Caitlin felt like after Ronnie died. The first time. Who am I kidding, both times.

"A little bit," I shifted my stance. "I'm thinking I'll go back into work on Monday."

"It hasn't been that long yet," he had an ounce of worry in his voice. "I'm sure the editor will understand it if you give it another week."

"No, I need to get back into my routine. I could use some consistency back in my life."

He was having a difficult time talking me out of it, so he caved. When dinner rolled around I heard a knock on the door. "Jessie," I greeted with a smile.

She stood there with a huge smile on her face. "It's so good to see you," she hugged me. I smiled at her, but was growing suspicious.

"Well I think there should be plenty of food for two speedsters and a normal."

Half way through dinner, they stood up. "You couldn't come when we told the others, so we'll tell you now," wally said.

"Tell me what," I set my fork down.

jessie held up her left hand. "WE'RE ENGAGED!"

I could feel my face form into a smile. They were perfect for each other. "Both of your world's are going to get a whole lot better." I hugged them.

"We thought you'd be angrier," wally addressed. " you know after the whole Barry's death thing, and how you were his fiancee."

Right. For a minute there I had forgotten about him. I thought back to all of the times we shared. When he and I would have meetings in Jitters. Him saving my life, all those times. I couldn't help the smile creeping up on my face, thinking about the times he proposed. I remained smiling at them. "I'm not mad. I'm happy."

Barry Allen was a dream.


	5. Forlorn Career

Joe's POV

I entered the precinct, containing my emotions of losing my son. For the first time I was beginning to feel the extent of what he felt the nights his parents died. I walked into his lab to collect his belongings. I still hadn't told the captain yet, this being my first day back from my personal days off.

"Allen," the captain came in. He noticed my being there and the absence of Barry. "Where is Allen, I haven't seen him in days."

I looked up at him, "May I speak to you in your office, Sir?" I placed one last item in the box before leaving. We walked down the stairs and across the rows of desks in silence. I closed the door behind us once we got in.

"There's something you need to know about Barry," I turned to sit but couldn't help the urge to stand. I had to force the words out of my system after holding them in for so long. "He's The Flash."

Singh rubbed his beard, in contemplation. "I can't say that I'm surprised."

I looked at him, "Really? You believe me? Just like that? No questioning it or anything?"

"Well ,I do have one question; Why tell me now?"

I looked down. That part was a bit more difficult for me to explain. I choked down any stifle of a sob I had in me and told him everything. By everything, I mean from the time he first got his powers, when Eddie killed himself to stop the Reverse Flash, how Zoom killed his dad, up to the part of how Barry... died. By the time I was done, I had the captain on the verge of tears.

"So," he finally said. "I guess this means I won't be getting back the best CSI this state has ever seen."

"Worst of all," I added. "We won't be getting The Flash back."

"No. Worst of all, we won't be getting Barry Allen back," he concluded.

I nodded my head, I knew how much the captain liked Barry, even if he never had the ability to say it. And I'd like to think that Barry knew it too. I smiled the weakest smile I have in years to him before I left his office.

"Oh and detective," he said to me on my way out. "Take as much time off as you need."

I nodded my head to him and made my way back up the stairs to Barry's lab. I picked up the last few of his personal items and proceeded to lift the box. All of his scientific stuff was surprisingly heavy. I knew that I wasn't going to be gone for long. I was probably just going to come back in the next day.

It's funny. I was always a little overprotective about him, even before he became a superhero. I watched over him a lot through his years living under my roof, from the day he showed up. After the explosion, I just got more attentive. Those nine months were worse than any day on the job. After he woke up I was happy to have my son back, only to see that he was a completely different person.

When I could see him run I was almost able to tell how relaxed he was. But being a hero was my job. I didn't realize how badly our city needed him until after all of the meta-humans came out from the shadows. I was drug into this new life, but not without a fight. I told him not to go out there but he was just as stubborn as me.

Every time he got out there in battle, I was more concerned than iris. I quickly got over my fears, like everyone else seemed to have already done, only to have them realized every time he got hurt. It was a vicious cycle, but I had to see that he was a man. He could make his own decisions. We all got so caught up in saving my daughter, that we had forgotten about saving my son. Barry paid the ultimate price for iris to stay with us. And I am proud to call him my son.

The next day, I came into the precinct, only to find everyone huddled by the photos of our fallen heros. I immediately thought to myself, 'who else died.' Walking into the crowd of officers I noticed that the picture that was up belonged to Barry. My appearance caught the attention of various people.

I heard several quiet, "I'm sorry for your loss" in my direction. More and more people started taking note of my presents. The crowd made a small path to the photo of Barry for me. Instead I marched right over to the captain's office.

I found him doing paperwork. I opened the door, not even attempting to knock first. I closed the door behind me, finally causing him to look up.

"Joe," he leaned back into his chair. "What brings you around here? Why aren't you at home?"

"Better question," I crossed my arms. "Why did you hang up Barry's picture?"

He shifted in his seat with discomfort. "Well," he breathed. "Barry was a member of the precinct, and when we lose someone they don't get forgotten."

I looked at him, unsure of weather I was joyous or concerned. The man who stood before me had never called Barry by his first name. I was able to ask him the one question to keep my mind a ease. "What about the questions? When people ask what happened to him, how he died?"

"We won't be having to deal with that for a little while. Or at least you won't." He stood up. "You see, people tend to tread lightly for a certain period of time, upon those whom were greatly affected by the loss of him. That includes you. Me, on the other hand, they will assume I will just tell them. I'm not his family. I'm just his boss. Although I may be 'just his boss', I still cared for the kid. So when you have a cover story, I'll listen."

"That means a lot," I bobbed my head.

"Go home, Joe. We can handle ourselves for the time being."

That time I had actually left. I left with the intention of not coming back, until next week. I think Barry would have liked to hear what Singh said about him. He was more important to people than he could have ever imagined.

Barry Allen was my son.


	6. The Vacuum of Earth-38

Kara's POV

I leaned my head against my window, the small droplets of rain being lit up by the headlights of the cars at night. My eyes progressively grew heavy and begged me to close them. If there was one lesson I learned on Earth, it's that even Kryptonians need sleep. I was about to fall asleep, when I could see a streak of orange lighting crossing my city. Joy overtook me!

It didn't long before I realized my eyes were closed. I opened them to notice I was on my apartment floor. Man, I needed some sleep. I crawled my way into my bed, and decided I was too tired to change out of my normal clothes. That night I got so much sleep, it felt like I was back in the Phantom Zone again.

But I didn't just sleep. I also dreamt. Well, it wasn't a dream per say. It was more like a memory. A memory of the time Barry and I first met. But I kept going back to the times I was flying and he was running. It felt good to have someone with me who wasn't trying to force life lessons on me, the way J'onn does. Seeing him down there seemed to have given me a real sense of peace.

I was taken back to reality by my sister, who was shaking me awake. My eyes opened with an immense hatred towards her. I rolled onto my back, with a groan, in order to face her. "What do you want," I gave her a grumpy and yet pathetic look. I noticed that the sun hadn't risen yet, so I pulled the covers closer to my chin. "And why are you in my apartment in the middle of the night?"

She welcomed herself into my bed, and smiled. "Kara," she addressed. "It is nine at night. You slept all day." That woke me up.

"Rao, are you serious," I sat up, almost shivering from the sudden abandonment of my covers from my chest. She laughed at my outburst and nodded.

"Yes," the laughter still present in her voice. "You slept all day, and I was craving some sister night time. So," I heard the crinkling of a paper bag. She had reached next to her, on the floor, to pick up a tub of ice cream.

My face formed excitement. I wanted to say yes, but I knew that would mean I would have to share about Barry, and I didn't think I was ready. My smiled drooped, "I appreciate the offer, but no thank you." I thought that was a polite way to tun her down. I mean, sisters night is our favorite thing in the world, but I didn't really feel like it.

"It's cute that you think you have a choice," she said, rolling herself out to grab spoons. I knew there was no way out of it. She is like the girl of steel, but with stubbornness. Haha. She's the girl of stubbornness. I decided to remove myself from the bed in which I had, apparently, spent twenty one hours sleeping in. I moved sisters' night to the couch, where we normally have it.

Alex returned with two bowls of ice cream, the large one for me. She sat down next to me and could tell I wasn't being completely transparent with her. "So, what aren't you telling me," she daintily ate ice cream from her spoon. 'Should I tell her? I honestly told nearly everybody but her about the loss of Barry. But that's only because she knows how I don't handle well with death.

I shoveled my ice cream in my mouth. I went for it. "Do you remember Barry," I asked her. Her eyes rolled back, to search her mind.

"The, uh, speedster from a parallel earth. The one who helped with Leslie and Siobhon?" Wow, she has an excellent memory.

"Yeah," I let out a long, crackly sigh. "He, he died." Her expression changed. Was this a mistake? Should I have just given myself some time before I told her? These questions were not relevant. Another thing that Kryptonians and humans alike do, is become sentient.

Her eyes softened, and she put her hand on my arm. "I'm so sorry. How, how did he die?"

I leaned the side my head on the couch, my eyes closed. I couldn't meet her eyes. "He died saving his fiancé from his time remnant."

Her head boped back a bit. "You mean like time travel?" I had forgotten to tell her that he could time travel.

"Yep," a small laugh escaped my lips. She snickered for a moment before exploding with laughter. "I'm sorry," she repeated these words over and over again between breaths to calm herself. "It's just, time travel," she shook her head. "It seems a bit out there, but I guess it's real."

"So real," I smiled before my face drooped again. "I wanted to be the one."

"What?" Alex looked at me like Ihad just told her Santa isn't real. "Kara, what are you talking about?"

"Oh," I had just played the conversation back in my head. It sounded like I wanted to be the one to die. "That was not what I meant. That night with the Music Meister, I saw him laying on the ground. He was bleeding from his chest. I wanted to be the one to save him. I wanted to be the one to kiss him and tell him that I was his one true love. That he was my one true love. But then iris came and screwed things up worse than the way Barry screwed up timelines. I was the one who should have died, not him. I saw the way that they looked at each other, and I thought to myself, if he has iris, then I will have that with Mon-El. But I lost Barry, and then I lost Mon-El. And now my life is just sad. I miss him Alex!"

I will admit that I ended up staining my sister's shirt during our sisters' night sleepover. That night I came to realize, just how much I miss him. He was the fastest man alive, and I wanted to be more than friends. I didn't know him for nearly as long as everyone else at the funeral, but when I looked into his eyes it was hard to believe that he didn't feel the same way I did. I'm not fully sure if it was the friendzone or just some unrequited type of deal, but one thing was certain.

Barry Allen was my superfriend.


	7. A Doctor's Regrets

Caitlin's POV

I was standing out by Barry's grave. The sun shot through my eyes, enticing tears to fall. I remained stone faced. Why does this keep happening to me? Sure you can throw a big pity party over Barry and losing his parents. Don't get me wrong, I feel sympathy for him just as much as the next guy, maybe even more, but what about me?

This is my life's story. I love people and they leave me. Ronnie: died. Twice. Jay: turned out to be evil and then died. Julian: ran back to England. Says he wants to change some of the aspects of his life. Guess who one of those aspects was? And now Barry. Ever since the lightning, I've taken care if him. We've become very good friends over the years, but now...

My stone face shows no emotion, and yet you can still tell how heartbroken I am. The first time I lost Ronnie, I had a difficult time functioning. I didn't smile a whole lot any more, I had broken down to a shell of my former self. The reason I couldn't smile was because if I let out any emotion I would never stop feeling them. So I stopped. After Barry woke up, he showed me the impossible. Not just his high running speeds, but he taught me how to be happy again.

I felt all alone after he left. I just kept staring at the stone above the freshly buried coffin. No matter how much Cisco tried to comfort me, I still felt like something was missing. That something was Barry's presence.

My eyes slowly opened up, the morning sunlight burned past their lids. I had a headache so severe I could only think of one possible reason: I had a hangover. I quickly stood up and stumbled my way to the curtains. I closed them before I was able to fall back onto my bed. What happened last night?

I strained my mind to find glimpses of Cisco and I drinking. I looked to my nightstand to find a large glass of water and a note signed by Cisco.

'Hey Caitlin,

You need to stay hydrated. Drink all of this water to help flush the alcohol out of your system.

-Cisco'

I knew this already, but he was very gracious for placing the water next to my bed for me. Sometimes I wonder if he knows I am a doctor.

I had lay there for maybe an hour, drinking water reluctantly. My mouth was dry and I was aching to get into pyjamas. That was the time I noticed my face was moist. It was heated by the warmth of the tears that silently slid, collecting at the underside of my chin. I couldn't help but feel lonely. I sat up slightly, not wanting to give myself a bigger headache, and wiped them all off.

I swear, right then, I could feel a cold breeze hit me like a tidal wave. I glanced at my closed curtains, the shadows projected on them indicated my window was closed. Unless Cisco turned on my air conditioning, I was just imagining all of it.

I glanced around the room, looking for another plausible answer, when I could feel something. It was like a hand on my shoulder. There was no other way to describe it. I looked down to my shoulder and to my demise, nothing was there. I could feel a cold tingling going down my spine as my heart fell to my stomach. Thankfully, my phone began ringing. It worsened my headache, but slightly put my mind at ease.

"Cisco," I put on a cheery voice.

"Hey," I could practically hear him smiling through the phone. "I just wanted to check up on you. You know, once you're a few drinks in, you can actually be the life of a party."

"I'm fine, Cisco. Thanks for getting me home."

"Yeah, no problem. But seriously, remind me not to let you drink that much."

"Yeah, yeah. Wait, we didn't sing, did we?"

"Yup. By the way, I slept on your couch."

"You sound you're out of breath. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just climbing up some stairs."

"Okay," I hesitated letting go of the subject. I would have asked him where he was, but the only place he would be is the lab. "What have you been up to?"

"Just, you know, running errands."

"What kind of errands would you need to-" Caitlin was cut off by the sound of a knock on her front door. "Hold that thought."

She stood up, fighting the urge to throw up, and found herself in crossing her living room. She hissed at the sunlight that was living there. She attempted to look presentable as she opened her door.

"Cisco," she raised an eyebrow. The man was standing there with some kind of drink in his hand.

"It's my hangover cure," he handed the water bottle to her and smiled. I gladly took the concoction and opened the door wide enough for him to enter. He closed the door behind him and his smile faded.

"What's the matter," I asked. He was normally such an upbeat guy, that I can't help but get concerned for him when he isn't acting like himself.

"Just, you know, Barry is gone and the city isn't safe without him and," he let out a tense sigh. "This." He held up a piece of paper with his signature sprawled out across the bottom.

I scanned the paper and gave him a look of something between confusion and pity. "He... he gave you S.T.A.R. Labs?"

He nodded sadly, fighting the urge to cry for sure. "He had a will. He's had one for a while now, actually. Ever since we first started fighting crime down here, he knew his life would be at risk. In his will he," Cisco chocked on his tears, now slipping from his eyes, "he gave me the lab. Why did Barry have to make dying such a hard thing for us? Why couldn't he have just become one of the psycho metas threatening to destroy the city? At least then we wouldn't have gotten so attached to him."

I pulled him close for a hug. We both stained each other's shirts with tears. I miss him. To this day I miss him. Taking the serum to revert myself back to Caitlin seemed hard, but when the situation demanded it, I was glad to do it for Barry's sake. And if I didn't know any better, I would say I could feel a third pair of arms in Cisco and my hug.

Barry was more than just my patient.

Barry Allen was the man who taught me how to smile again.


End file.
